Dating Websites Aren't For Dating! Silly Face...

Some people have asked me why I haven’t started a profile on OkCupid, EHarmony or some of the other dating websites. Well, frankly it’s because I think it would be exhausting trying to cross reference all of the sites to make my conclusions. And while the journalist in me knows that would be the more appropriate course of action to give all of my curious readers a more accurate depiction of online dating, this is a generic account through blogspot.com, not a freaking CNN news report. Plus, I like having a life outside of my real job and this blog. Heartbreaking, I know.

So anyways….now onto this week’s topic! I’m going to tell you something that I was previously unaware of when I joined PoF and that I think you should know about. Are you ready? Ok. Online dating sites, are not just for finding someone to date…

Now, I know you’re all sitting there with giant question marks over your heads. But before some of you smart asses try and figure out my revelation details before I give them to you: No, I’m not referring to the lame excuse of, “well I just moved here and want to meet new people (so I’m going to only message hot people of the opposite gender).”

Apparently, it's also for asking someone for directions, finding an instructor of some sort, and to have philosophical discussions with strangers.

I briefly mentioned a reference to something along these lines back in May when AZMike asked me how to upload a photo off his phone for his PoF profile. My reaction to that message was very similar to that of a message I received the other day. Unfortunately, I accidently deleted it before I took a screen shot so I don’t even know their username, but this was the exact message: “How close is Mesa to Candler?” (yes, the misspelling is intentional)

Now, I presume this man was trying to figure out if we lived close to each other before attempting to begin dialogue in hopes of dating. However, it comes off quite lazy of him (and awkward for me)!

Oh and by the way, sir, my name is not Google maps. (Or your PoF tech support, AZMike!)

Just sayin.

Another fine example of the apparent use of online dating for goods & services, is hottaz** who messaged me in what started as a usual message. He began with complimenting my appearance, which most people would agree suggests his interest in dating me. But then this slippery fish changes the conversation dramatically when he tells me to feel free to check out his profile, NOT to see if I am mutually interested, but rather to see if I’m interested in what he's “offering.” Imagine the Question Mark on my forehead with that one! Turns out, the guy gives massages on the side of his real job and school work for extra money. So if you would like to begin publicizing your line of work without paying for web space, just create an online dating profile and message potential clients directly. It’s not creepy at all! D:  No, thanks buddy. I don’t need this site to get that kind of happy ending.

Now, before I call out this next gentleman for asking me, of all things--to be his dance instructor, I have to call him out on something else entirely. If this isn’t the best example I’ve seen thus far of a Profile Fail, I don’t know what is.

1. Notice his username…. “new” vs. “knew”
2. The grammar is this message is horrendous. I understand that typos happen (I’ve fallen victim to them myself) but this was a little difficult for me to bear.
3. Where is the part where you offer me some form of payment for teaching you how to dance? Or more expectantly, the part where this could all happen on its own if we were to actually meet in person and formed an acquaintance of some kind?

And finally, I’d like to introduce you all to my profile frequenter, Artlosophy. He likes to message about twice a month to ask me various “what would you do in this scenario” questions. Observe: (most recent examples)

Is it rude that I don't want to participate? I mean, I didn't exactly sign up for philosophy.com or WWYouD.com.

On a completely unrelated note, I would just like to say thank you to everyone who is reading this blog. Those of you who are my friends on Facebook were aware of when the blog went international because I was so freaking stoked and had to post about it. Somehow, the word has spread to various countries, even beyond the countries where I have friends who have returned from studying abroad or some other such circumstance. FOR EXAMPLE: This is the screen shot of my stats page from how many viewers clicked in from just this past week! See how green the right side of the map is?!

Thank you, Mother Russia.