Location Location Location

I discovered a new feature for PoF mobile. For those who don’t know, this is what the home screen looks like for PoF mobile.

Hello, Gentlemen...

The bottom row of pictures are random profiles of people within my region of which to select from.

Well this past weekend, I traveled to St. Louis to visit some family and was surprised to suddenly see my phone light up with messages from users that reside in Missouri. It seems that your profile pops up as a random option to select for others within your listed state of residency AND WHEREVER YOU'RE CURRENTLY LOCATED!

Way to lay out the PoF Welcome Mat! Well hello, Missouri!

This explains past mental question marks when I’ve clicked on random profiles while back at home and noticed that their listed state is definitely not within Arizona, much less the Phoenix Metropolitan area. Those people must have been visiting Arizona at the time I clicked on them! I don’t know if that’s absolutely genius, extremely creepy, or both! It definitely opens up your options to even more opportunities if you’re into random, really unlikely successful encounters.

I don’t know who would want to spend what little time they have in a city going on dates with strangers but think of benefits this could have?? Let’s get creative.

The Wedding Date: Say you’re headed out-of-state for a wedding, and you have yet to find someone to fill your Plus One guest invite. Once you get into town, see if any willing bachelors or nice ladies would accompany you as your date! It may be awkward as hell or it could be the greatest first date story ever! The key to this is you have to be completely straight up honest about the situation and carry a sort of nonchalance about it. Otherwise, you may come off creepy like you’re already planning your wedding to this new local friend. But what if you’re nervous and not sure if you can pull that kind of carefree demeanor off? Maybe sell it to them this way: Ever wanted to live out your own rendition of Wedding Crashers? You can be Luke Wilson and I’ll be Rachel McAdams!

This could also be pulled off for work functions that require you to travel. Bring a date, and then treat them for putting up with your boring boss or convention speaker by treating them to their favorite place in town! You get a little bit of the insider’s scoop of the city and someone to make fun of your coworkers with.

If you don’t want to look like the only one attending a function without a significant other, then fake it! While you’re there, you two can make up a whole story about how you met and your new friend can create a whole other life for them self! Does anyone else think this could be an incredibly amusing night?!

PoF, no matter where you travel to, it’s where you’ve always got a friend! Potentially, anyways. ; )

On a completely unrelated note, I have been saving a few pictures for a theme I've had lately. How many profiles can I find with pictures of man-children. Yes, you read that right. Man-children: males over the age of 18 that look like they're 12. Enjoy!

24!?!? What??



I think you need a smaller helmet...



A man-child with a child. Awkward...

This is ThugLife Manchild.

Dating Websites Aren't For Dating! Silly Face...

Some people have asked me why I haven’t started a profile on OkCupid, EHarmony or some of the other dating websites. Well, frankly it’s because I think it would be exhausting trying to cross reference all of the sites to make my conclusions. And while the journalist in me knows that would be the more appropriate course of action to give all of my curious readers a more accurate depiction of online dating, this is a generic account through blogspot.com, not a freaking CNN news report. Plus, I like having a life outside of my real job and this blog. Heartbreaking, I know.

So anyways….now onto this week’s topic! I’m going to tell you something that I was previously unaware of when I joined PoF and that I think you should know about. Are you ready? Ok. Online dating sites, are not just for finding someone to date…

Now, I know you’re all sitting there with giant question marks over your heads. But before some of you smart asses try and figure out my revelation details before I give them to you: No, I’m not referring to the lame excuse of, “well I just moved here and want to meet new people (so I’m going to only message hot people of the opposite gender).”

Apparently, it's also for asking someone for directions, finding an instructor of some sort, and to have philosophical discussions with strangers.

I briefly mentioned a reference to something along these lines back in May when AZMike asked me how to upload a photo off his phone for his PoF profile. My reaction to that message was very similar to that of a message I received the other day. Unfortunately, I accidently deleted it before I took a screen shot so I don’t even know their username, but this was the exact message: “How close is Mesa to Candler?” (yes, the misspelling is intentional)

Now, I presume this man was trying to figure out if we lived close to each other before attempting to begin dialogue in hopes of dating. However, it comes off quite lazy of him (and awkward for me)!

Oh and by the way, sir, my name is not Google maps. (Or your PoF tech support, AZMike!)

Just sayin.

Another fine example of the apparent use of online dating for goods & services, is hottaz** who messaged me in what started as a usual message. He began with complimenting my appearance, which most people would agree suggests his interest in dating me. But then this slippery fish changes the conversation dramatically when he tells me to feel free to check out his profile, NOT to see if I am mutually interested, but rather to see if I’m interested in what he's “offering.” Imagine the Question Mark on my forehead with that one! Turns out, the guy gives massages on the side of his real job and school work for extra money. So if you would like to begin publicizing your line of work without paying for web space, just create an online dating profile and message potential clients directly. It’s not creepy at all! D:  No, thanks buddy. I don’t need this site to get that kind of happy ending.

Now, before I call out this next gentleman for asking me, of all things--to be his dance instructor, I have to call him out on something else entirely. If this isn’t the best example I’ve seen thus far of a Profile Fail, I don’t know what is.

1. Notice his username…. “new” vs. “knew”
2. The grammar is this message is horrendous. I understand that typos happen (I’ve fallen victim to them myself) but this was a little difficult for me to bear.
3. Where is the part where you offer me some form of payment for teaching you how to dance? Or more expectantly, the part where this could all happen on its own if we were to actually meet in person and formed an acquaintance of some kind?

And finally, I’d like to introduce you all to my profile frequenter, Artlosophy. He likes to message about twice a month to ask me various “what would you do in this scenario” questions. Observe: (most recent examples)

Is it rude that I don't want to participate? I mean, I didn't exactly sign up for philosophy.com or WWYouD.com.

On a completely unrelated note, I would just like to say thank you to everyone who is reading this blog. Those of you who are my friends on Facebook were aware of when the blog went international because I was so freaking stoked and had to post about it. Somehow, the word has spread to various countries, even beyond the countries where I have friends who have returned from studying abroad or some other such circumstance. FOR EXAMPLE: This is the screen shot of my stats page from how many viewers clicked in from just this past week! See how green the right side of the map is?!

Thank you, Mother Russia.

Why Are These Men Single??

Imagine you’re sitting on your couch, checking your online dating emails and you open one from someone you’ve never conversed with before. All it says is: “Let’s get together!”

I don’t know what you would do, but I immediately erupted into giggles while mentally singing, “yeah, yeah, yeah!”

These are the kind of things my brain does when I read ridiculous messages. Some might find it weird, but I think a good sense of humor is required to get through all of the crazies that come with cyber dating. A sense of humor and standards.

Sometimes, I’ll admit, I’m a little judgmental of the initial message (and someone’s profile). If you can’t type more than one sentence in your first attempt of contact, then what’s the point?? The worst ones are those that just say “hi.”



Grammar error. Enough said.



Can you imagine how long it would take to get to know each other if I responded with the same amount of “umph” that he did with each message?

But some people, *shakes head* some people really make that one sentence count.

Bdub***: “Yesss I want some of you”

What am I? A topping on your dessert?

Rob****: “Your face is gorgeous”

Thanks. I formed it myself.

-------------------------------------------------------

On the opposite side of the spectrum, another interesting factor to observe is how quickly people progress (and display) their feelings:



Well that was fast! And I didn't even have to lift a finger!



 You know what still amazes me? Well, I bet you can guess because I know this is now your favorite part of this blog. :) I can't ever go too long without finding a picture where I can’t help but stare and think, why would you post this???

Exhibit A: Seriously???

The best part about this photo however, is that you know that the girl behind him agrees with me! Maybe he’s hoping we wouldn’t notice her….but maybe he should have taken that as an indicator of what our reactions would be.



It's true. Egos are also affected by the old saying, "Everything's bigger in Texas!"



Exhibit B: I see that you’re trying to go for a close up picture to demonstrate your artistic side, but I think you forgot about something…Even if this is an old picture. Attention to details is kind of necessary in this situation.



Dating site...wedding ring....not a good combo.



Exhibit C: I….I….*sigh* I don’t know.

Who were you taking this for? Or do you just pose like this all the time?

Now for the next example, I just want to say that I am for the armed forces and supporting our men and women for their sacrifices. Also, I know that often their lifestyle and humor, etc. can be very different than ours…but either way, I don’t find this attractive or studly.

What made this somewhat ironic though is that after I viewed his profile, he decided to message me. His word choice was perfect…

“I’m really beaten up that I live a whole hour away from u lol” (he lives in Tucson)

I thought: not as beaten up as that cardboard cutout probably was, so I’m not too worried about it.

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To end this post, I'd just like to say that there was an almost, not really, but close celebrity sighting on the site. Does anyone else see the resemblance?

Scrubs Fans, come on...

The Run Down

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the different features that PoF has to offer, let me break it down for you.  These are the many outlets within the site that allow you to interact with other PoF members…

*Disclaimer: this blog will not necessarily increase your interest in online dating or your faith in humanity overall. The writer does not take responsibility for the uncontrollable laughter you may experience from witnessing these fine specimens of the male gender. She also guarantees that the female gender is equally misrepresented on PoF, however, she does not have a fake male account in which to demonstrate this for you at this time. hmmm....*

1) The Profile

The basis of any online dating site is the compilation of user profiles, in which to display both a quick glance summary and an in-depth section as to what kind of fish are truly in this online sea. The frame of each page includes: a profile picture, a headline (or as I call it, their “Catch Phrase”), and their description of a quality first date. In the center of this is their bullet-point information, the What You’re Looking For section, & any details one would like to share more about themselves.

The Catch Phrase is located below the profile picture and is often used to demonstrate a person’s wit or declare some sort of disclaimer, sometimes of their intentions, or maybe their personal behavior.

j141***: "Fishing for a keep"

Westbound***: "I love bacon"

reldni***: "Greetings: I bite! :D"

Or the Catch Phrase can be used such as in this person’s case, to demonstrate how intelligent he is…

2) The Photo Gallery

The creators of PoF tell you to consider uploading photos that best demonstrate your life: activities you partake in, social settings, basically anything that shows what makes you happy. This guy took this as an opportunity to send a message about the activities & social settings he wants to take part in…

3) My Matches

This is where the geniuses behind PoF attempt to take the vague generic information of your interests and find your perfect match! Great, right!? Don’t be fooled. The only aspect they actually can narrow in on with any sort of accuracy is listing people who are in the same income ranking as you.

4) "Meet Me” -- easily my favorite feature

This is the online version of the Roman battle coliseum. The page shows you the profile pictures of various PoF members with the words “yes,” “no,” or “maybe” displayed across the bottom as to whether you’d like to meet them or not. But before you give your thumbs up of approval with a “yes,” or condemn your potential online relationship with the thumbs down by clicking “no,” you have the opportunity to view their whole profile or send them a message.

Now come on ladies, who wouldn’t want to meet these fellows? No judging, I pinky promise.



What a ladies man!



Oh he went there...



You can also click (or swipe if you’re using a smart phone) to see who has given you the thumbs up to indicate interest in meeting you. Let me tell you, reading the usernames listed in the email notification when someone wants to meet you can be hilarious. Fill in the blank with some of these usernames! “______ wants to meet you!”



Do I want to know....? No. I probably don't.

  Well that's all for now! If you want to see any more examples from a particular section, feel free to let me know in the comments.

Happy Fishing!

Men in the Spotlight

This week, instead of focusing on a general theme among Plenty of Fish, I decided to pick just a couple of unique profiles and share them with you. These two men had two very different approaches to online dating than what I've seen so far. Props for originality. But does it spark any interest? Or go just a little too far? Let's discuss...

JazzyJ***– Does all the heavy lifting for you…

Talk about someone who invests his time in everything he does! Jason, or JazzyJ as referred to above, made 4 YouTube videos (7 to 8 minutes long) titled “Jason’s online dating interview” Parts 1-4, in which he tells you all about himself, his interests, and what he’s looking for in a relationships. Well it’s obviously sparked some interest in the PoF world because his videos have been viewed about 400 times since the last 3 videos were posted semi-annually since 2010. Jason so kindly posted his YouTube username in his “About Me” section so you can search for his videos yourself.

Ladies, in case you like a man who takes initiative like this, I’ll save you some time. I watched the videos and here’s the scoop. The videos are shot in front of a backdrop that he says he has set up in his living room due to his involvement in game show entertainment/production. The videos are staged like a talk show in which he is the host. So this is what you learn about Jason in a nutshell:

1)      Super big fan of Disneyland. He goes at least twice per year as it is a “passion” of his. He will gladly debate you as to why it truly is the happiest place on earth.  He even owns a Donald Duck costume.

2)      In addition to game entertainment, he is a wedding DJ and IT specialist.

3)      Really, really likes using Facebook.

4)      Huge Suns fan

Well, you have to give the guy props for answering legitimate questions about himself and really putting himself out there with confidence. He also covers anything you could possibly want to know on at least the first two dates. But that could almost be a problem because…where is the fun in that? But if you’re into him, may I suggest sending him a YouTube response video monologue of yourself to see if he is interested as well before deciding to go on a live date. That’d be a super cute way to say you liked his creativity, and brings him up to speed on you so you’re not the only one talking on the first date.

JLPD**** – adopt a fake persona to theme your entire profile

JLPD is a 32 year old, never been married bachelor who has decided to write his whole About Me in line with a spy theme. His catch phrase: “Secret Agent in search of Bond Girl”. He actually signed the end of his profile, “007”. The gallery includes multiple photos of him with various London scenery in the background, like Big Ben, a red payphone booth, and double-decker buses. His whole About Me section discusses his past as an English secret agent, saving the world one mission at a time, and fighting off women (including his boss “agent M’) who only want him for his spy gadgets.

While this is a cute way to summarize what might usually be classified as the boring details of your life, three large paragraphs written in this fashion can get a little overwhelming. Yes, you’re quite the story teller. But really, what the hell do you do? What qualities do you actually look for in a lady? And what would your first date be like???

Photo Gallery Do's & Don't's

So lets be honest. More often than not, you probably skip over the step of scrolling through someone's profile and go straight for their pictures. Am I wrong here? With maybe a few exceptions when you're feeling extra patient or kind, you otherwise just want to know right away, are you attracted to that person?? Fair enough! Well maybe it's time you reconsidered your own photo gallery. Do you have any of these types of photos? Shame, shame! ;)

For Ladies

·    No cleavage/booty pictures – you have no idea how many times I’ve heard guys complain about girls posting that they “want to be taken seriously” or “don’t want to just hookup” but then they have photos posted that just scream “booty call!”

·    Instead, show pictures of you in your many different clothing styles. Hopefully, there is no one out there who ALWAYS dresses the same. Typically, you have different outfits that you would wear say, on a date, on a girl’s night out, a casual day at the beach, whatever. So show your different styles. It helps a guy get a feel for your whole lifestyle.

·    No duck faces- I’ve been told a few times that my profile looks “so normal” and I’ve attributed that to the fact that I don’t pretend to actually walk around trying to resemble a bird, meaning a duck or otherwise. Men want to know what you actually look like!

·    Here is a concept, smile! A great smile can outshine almost any other flaw.

For Men

·    I do NOT suggest posting super specific examples in the “what you’re looking for” section, (for example, “short thin brunettes are perfect!” *cough* Thechad-- *cough*) and then casually mentioning that looks don’t really matter or you’re not that picky. Anyone who doesn’t fit that description will now hesitate to contact you. Or worse, say they find the courage to reach out anyways, things go well, you begin dating, and then god forbid a girl matching that description walks by! Even the most secure female will think back to your profile and just wonder.

·    Don’t post pictures of you with a group of sexy ladies out on the town. You may look like a baller to any straight men that somehow get lost in cyber world and stumble upon your profile gallery, but to women, you just look like a player. Or at least someone who likes to oogle at any pretty ladies you happen to come across and then proceed to ask to take a photo with them. For all we know, you don’t even know her. You just want to be seen with a pretty girl for your ego.

·    Now I say this next one with limitations: If you’re a pet person, feel free to post a picture of you and your beloved animal. Not a million photos of JUST your pet. And not a photo of your pet making out with your face. Please, it’s the equivalent of a crazy cat lady playing dress up with her feline friends.

Keep in mind, YOU CHOOSE YOUR PICTURES. They don't just appear on your page, leaving you to defend them in your captions. So make sure you’re communicating the message you want to send.

I would like to thank a handful of men who gave me their feedback on women’s profiles they’ve seen on the site. *Josh, Tyler & Ben* You guys are awesome.

Rules (Or Just Insight) Into POF Dating

These are some general rules and trends I've noticed in these past two months of fishing. 

1. There is an overabundance of military men on this site, both current and post-active duty, which makes sense as I’m sure it can be difficult meeting people of variety with that lifestyle.

2. There are also a significant number of body builders on this site, which DOES NOT make sense to me. Who are you going to find online that is secure enough in their body image to date you and that vein that keeps looking at me through your pictures? Wouldn’t you be better off pursuing someone you meet at your body building….what are they? Conventions? Competitions? Tupperware parties? Whatever.

3. It’s just awkward when you include “lover” in your username…no matter what. No exceptions.

4. You will frequently stumble upon photos of men displaying their manliness. In particular, I've noticed lots men posting pictures of them holding giant fish they have caught (presumably on a fishing pole in a boat). Fish are the new trucks, I guess.

5. You may encounter couples in search of someone to join them for a threesome. Proceed as you wish.

6. It is rare, but there have been a few official Sugar Daddy sightings.

7. No matter how much we want it to, the “bathroom mirror pic” isn’t going away.

8. Junk pictures are not ok! Even if you’re not looking for a committed relationship, it can’t exactly spark your interest to know that EVERYONE has seen what they bring to the table.

9. The ever popular saying, “You can’t judge a book by its cover” is completely irrelevant in the online dating world. Viewers have every right to judge you at least a little bit by your “cover”, or what is possibly better known as the Username.

And from the last rule, comes this post’s edition of “The Weekly Catch”!

Usernames, in my opinion, are like virtual license plates. Usually they are straight forward because they literally spell out a whole word or phrase, unlike real license plates that have a 7-character limitation. But even still, usernames can be a mystery. Even if it’s written there in plain English, sometimes a girl has got to ask herself, what the hell does that mean? Or we will try to interpret the significance behind those specifically chosen words.

 I promise, I’m not trying to read into these usernames so much as to try and build this entire persona behind it.  But I think people should be aware of the slew of thoughts that actually come to an outsiders mind after seeing their username for the first time. It may not just be the cool, suave alias you imagined it to be. See the following examples:

Hotblunt69

                So you like to get high and then….op. Is that really what you wanted me to think about?

Tangerinediesel

                I just imagine this guy sitting in a huge tangerine-colored truck, looking pompous enough to let you know you’ll be making a mistake if you dare call his truck “orange”.

Passion_master

                You somehow managed to make a username that is more awkward than just the usual “lover007”. Congratulations. And yes, lover007 actually exists.

STFU.Don**

                My first thought was, “well that’s just rude.”

Sohotrightnow

                Ok, this is a rare example of a good-thought provoking username. Anyone from our generation should know where this came from.  I had to give this guy kudos because I immediately read it in Will Ferrell’s voice, pictured Owen Wilson and actually laughed out loud.

Vanillapepperoni

                You’re plain and safe, with a fire-y kick?

ZombieMonkey

                Of all things, you chose a monkey to picturesquely become zombified in my imagination? What about a lion or a bear? Something already incredibly more intimidating. I personally like monkeys, so I can’t decide if that image would make the previously cute animal be that much cooler or that much more terrifying.

VoraciousReader

                Obviously with that kind of diction!

Wethepeople1

                You’re a super big fan of US history, clearly. And in particular, of the Preamble of the US Constitution.

To conclude this week’s post, I’d like to take Wethepeople1’s inspiration and share this with you:

“We the People of Plenty of Fish, in order to form a more perfect union, establish only a slightly modified version of who we are in our profiles, insure that others can’t see our flaws from the angle in which our pictures are taken, provide entertainment for the common public, promote the bathroom mirror pic, and secure the right to be ridiculous online, do ordain and establish this material for the Plenty To Dish Blog.”

Go ahead, judge me all you want. For I am not exempt from my own rules and I thoroughly enjoyed writing that. :) Happy Fishing!